Comments on: It always ends.

By: shannon

shannon — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:38:35 +0000

I admire you!! You are an inspiration.. your tatoo has inspired me! lifes experiences hey..lifes hard,it throws curve balls at us and i think you did the right thing.”happiness is a healthy mental attitude, a clear conscience and a heart full of love. It teaches us to see life as a weakness..an opportunity or a strength. we all have to at some point in our lives have to go through pain..anger..acceptance and growth!! and all very different at that. i am in the process of recovering from domestic abuse and am prossecuting.have been looking for a tatoo for a while..and found yours. Thank you..going to change it a bit and say… It allways ends… thats what gives ourselves value! getting it tatooed on my neck. and another one..The weak..become the STRONG!. I wish you well and happiness. shan N.Ireland

By: Julianne

Julianne — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:27:24 +0000

Your baby needs you, don’t you know? What a sad story!

By: john d

john d — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 05:31:12 +0000

call b.s. on this – “…07/08/09, at 10p…”

7, 8, 9, 10? come on.

By: Iron Fist » Blog Archive » ends and beginnings

Iron Fist » Blog Archive » ends and beginnings — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 02:30:40 +0000

[...] made me think back a bit to a link that Neil Gaiman posted on the Twitter, to this story about a man who has a quote from Death: The High Cost of Living tattooed on his arm. The slant on [...]

By: Keri

Keri — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 04:28:50 +0000

You don’t have to be a baby’s biological father to still be ‘daddy’. There would be nothing selfish about staying around them and being a strong, present father figure in that baby’s life.

You’d be a great father to that baby whether he’s your blood or not.

By: Bruna

Bruna — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 13:40:06 +0000

What an exciting story! It’s good to know that the world stil have some people who think the way you do, Ron. You’ll be a great dad, I’m pretty sure.
Beautiful tattoo!

Jen, congratulations for the blog. I’m here every time I can to see the tattoos, and I think your idea was great. Kisses from Brazil!

By: jenne

jenne — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 21:05:30 +0000

Hi Ron,
I loved this right away – my favorite quote from one of my all time favorite stories and writers.

I’m so sorry for the hurt and sadness that came into your life. I cannot imagine how it feels and i hope that one day you feel even a little bit better. I grew up without my bio father, and was taken care of by my stepfather. WHen I was seven years old i gave him a little statue that read “Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy”. your story made me think of that statue and the man I was blessed with as my Dad. take care sir.

By: pinar

pinar — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 22:48:13 +0000

hi,
this is sad sad story…. hope that you finally find ur “new”

By: stelei

stelei — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 23:13:12 +0000

I just wanted to let you know that Neil Gaiman has linked to your story on his Twitter account. He is @neilhimself, and called it “A small, heartbreaking, literary tattoo story.”

I like how through the words inked on your skin, your favorite author came to know of you. Good luck with all new things to come. :)

By: K. R. Lindsey

K. R. Lindsey — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 18:25:47 +0000

From the poem, “Sunday Morning,” by Wallace Stevens:

“Death is the mother of Beauty; hence from her, Alone, shall come fulfillment to our dreams And our desires.”

By: Nancy Holbert

Nancy Holbert — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 15:57:01 +0000

What? He was your baby! Because you weren’t the sperm donor means nothing. Is his biological father in his life? Does he even care about the child? If you are the only father he has please don’t abandon him.
I wish I could hug you.

By: anon

anon — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:21:58 +0000

that baby’s gonna miss you.

my first cousin, who just turned fifteen, isn’t my uncle’s genetic child either. but he’s been her daddy all her life, and she is his daddy’s girl. it’s super sad to think that you’d give up your relationship with this baby just based on his genetic background, and forget the bond of love you two shared.

By: Shona

Shona — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 09:55:12 +0000

You’ll be a great daddy someday, even if that’s not today.

By: Lame Bill

Lame Bill — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 06:30:05 +0000

As Hervor said, in his situation, he is completely at the mercy of the mother, and there is nothing he can do about it, no matter how much he may love Lucas.

Hell, these days, I’ve seen men in similar situations sent to prison – based solely on the word of a hostile mother – just because they wanted to make sure the baby had a daddy in his or her life, regardless of the availability of the biological father.

By: medstudent

medstudent — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 04:58:11 +0000

first off, amazing tattoo,

second, if you believe it was the right thing to do in leaving, that the animosity you felt towards the mother would have never dissipated, and would have raised the child in a poisoned environment then you are truely strong of heart to be able to do whats right for the child.

third and lastly, speaking from the point of veiw of the child, which i do not believe i have seen thus far, (apologies if i missed one) i myself have grown up with a father who is not mine biologicly but in heart. the person who donated his dna to my exsistence never had any interest in my well being, but my father of my heart did. he was the one to lift me up when i fell, to teach me how to ride my bike and who held me when i cried. he took care of me by total choice, not by chance of birth, and even though he and my mother broke up and moved out and got back together many times in the last 17 years he has always stayed in touch, always been there to call, and never stopped caring for me. as the child, i feel blessed. as was stated, making a baby is easy, nuturing a small human life is something different entirely. my father of my heart taught me i was worth something and that i would only fail if i let myself fail. he helped make me who i am today.

By: amanda

amanda — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 04:53:35 +0000

Are you listed as the father on the birth certificate? Then you have every legal right, and can be forced to pay child support if you actually leave. If you really love this boy, suck up your differences with the ex, work out a joint custody arrangement, and LOVE HIM. He is more important than anything here.

I know they say “If you love them, leave them,” but that is such a lie. He needs you, so make the REALLY hard decision to stay with him. Leaving is easy. You only do it once. Staying is hard- you do it every day.

By: Leigh

Leigh — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 03:21:02 +0000

I’m so sorry that you had to make such a heartbreaking choice. I’m sorry for the sense of loss and the pain you must be feeling.

It’s great to know that there are people out there who make the choices that they know to be right, even if they aren’t always the choices they wanted to make.

Good luck.

By: Leigh

Leigh — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 03:19:06 +0000

I’m so sorry that you had to make such a heartbreaking choice. I’m sorry for the sense of loss and the pain you must be feeling.

It’s great to know that there are people out there who make the choices that they know to be right, even if they aren’t always the choices they wanted to make.

Good luk.

By: Hervor the Howler

Hervor the Howler — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:43:15 +0000

As he is not the biological father, Ron has few legal rights in this matter. Ron has no protection if the mother decides he can have nothing more to do with the kid and no authority, without the support of the mother, to make decisions … it’s a precarious way to live and the heartbreak of being separated from a child after loving and taking care of them can be truly devastating.

Good luck Ron, maybe the next step along your path is to remember that ‘The end is where we start from’

By: Ron

Ron — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 23:55:06 +0000

The tattoo is mine, as is the story. First and foremost, I want to thank Jen for posting my Tattoo, and in doing so; giving me the opportunity to see everyone’s opinions of events deeply personal in my life. I would also like to thank everyone for their comments, positive or negative towards my situation and ultimate decision. Hearing the opinions, outside my own circle is incredibly cathartic.

Ultimately, the decision was made 7 months ago, and there really is no going back at this point. I do miss him every day, and likely will every day of my life; but in the end, I do feel I’ve made the right decision, even tho I can easily see both sides discussed above. I will appreciate every moment I had with him.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who took the time to comment. Posting the link to a picture of Lucas and I below, hopefully it works ;-) Thanks again!

http://img17.yfrog.com/i/cimg0050l.jpg/

http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/7799/cimg0050l.jpg