I know, I know. Â Regular updates will be back soon. Â For now, an ominous tattoo for everyone to read too much into.
Ron’s tattoo is from Neil Gaiman’s Death: The High Cost of Living. Â This is Ron’s story:
I broke up with my ex girlfriend in 2007; she was my high school crush (I’ve known her for 10 years, dated solid the last 5), we never stopped talking and kept trying to ‘make it work’.Â Last October 2008 she ended up pregnant.Â I stuck by her, did everything I could for the pregnancy, changed my schedule so I could be there for every appointment, went to all the classes; et al.Â In May she brought it to my attention, I may not be the father-Â I didn’t freak out, I kept going to every class, and appointment, because what would be worse?Â Going to the appointments and the baby not being mine, or being mine and I missed all the appointments out of anger?Â Lucas Grey was born on 07/08/09, at 10p and I instantly fell in love with him (despite never wanting children).
I stayed at her home, did the midnight changings, put him to sleep, pacified him when he cried.Â I was daddy and it really felt good.Â On 7/18 I got the test results that he is not mine.Â I left and I’ve been entirely devastated ever since.Â Buried myself in my work, was drinking a lot, and became a good shut in.Â I got this quote for several reasons.Â First, When he used to sleep, he would sleep under my left arm, nuzzled onto my chest, secondly its my reminder that its better for both of them without me there, staying only for the selfishness of wanting to be around him.Â They are both better without me, and my animosity towards her.Â Third, Neil Gaiman is my favorite author, and High Cost of Living is what really introduced me to him, I was a huge Tori Amos fan and I bought the book only to read her forward of the book.Â It is also a true quote in every single aspect of life; everything ends, for something new.